Identifying... and Applying

Warren Wilson
Bennington College
Antioch University in LA
Lesley University

Queens College
University of British Columbia
University of Southern Maine
Vermont College of Fine Arts

I often read blogs and comments on the MFA Blog website. It seems that a common approach, when seeking admission to an MFA program, is to apply to as many schools as is humanly possible. The very idea of this makes me nearly puke. That approach offends my financial realities and threatens to assault my over-extended life.

Even before I applied I knew I would spend an exorbitant amount of time on every application. Schools want different information in their essays. Some schools want two essays. Some schools allow candidates to apply in more than one genre and I write in three genres! And of course every piece of writing would have to be worked to death. Therefore, I needed to submit very strong applications to a very few programs that I felt sure would be just right for me.

To support this approach, I did a lot of research, created a shot list, and then worked to shorten it. Above are the names of the schools that made up my initial "short list." As I researched each program, I gained a more clear idea of that for which I was looking, and that for which I was not. I share some of what I learned because if you're trying to find some schools, some of this information may help you. The very thing that turned me away from any of these schools could be what you find most appealing.

I loved the idea of Antioch and Queens. Their locations were so fabulous. I love warm and hot weather, abhor cool and cold weather. Traveling across the continent to LA would be extensive and expensive, but I liked the idea of being in LA, possibly going to a venue or two and killing it on stage while I was there, enjoying the warmth of the weather. Queens being in Charlotte, a nice warm place, full of culture was also soooooo appealing. They topped my list at first. But of course, as much as I wanted to pretend otherwise, I cannot choose a school based on the weather.

The program at Queens, which includes semester long critiquing of other students work and receipt of feedback from these same students, seemed too much, at least for me. I'm all about workshopping during the residency - of course - but to maintain a virtual workshop experience all year round, critiquing the work of a group of other students from where ever in the world they are, while balancing my home life with my own reading and writing requirements, seemed pure sabotage - the structure of my life being what it is. I let that program go.

Warren Wilson
Bennington College
Antioch University in LA
Lesley University

Queens College
University of British Columbia
University of Southern Maine
Vermont College of Fine Arts

Antioch seems to have a strong focus on literary critique. This, I believe, is important. The writer supports the maintenance of standards and recognition of brilliant work in the world, through her written critical evaluations. However, I am not going to an MFA program to focus on literary criticism. In fact, that's the reason I want to pursue an MFA and not an MA, which generally seems also to have literary criticism built in.

I am going to school to focus on the creation of original work in the three genre's in which I write, strengthening my craft and my ability to identify the best in my own writing. I intend to grow as a critical evaluator through the process of critiquing my work and the work of my peers, through workshops and lectures and discussions around my reading. I believe that, particularly in the writing of non-fiction (my chosen focus, remember?) developing the skills necessary to write literary criticism are an inherent part of the workshopping and writing process. And let's not forget that I can also take workshops on literary criticism later in my career.

Warren Wilson
Bennington College
Antioch University in LA
Lesley University
Queens College
University of British Columbia
University of Southern Maine

Vermont College of Fine Arts

Warren Wilson was on my list because I held the program in such esteem. It hurt me that the program doesn't offer a Non-Fiction concentration. I thought maybe I'd apply there in fiction or poetry, and decide later. But I couldn't do that. Even if I chose to focus on one of those genres, I absolutely intend to study non-fiction.

Warren Wilson
Bennington College
Antioch University in LA
Lesley University
Queens College
University of British Columbia
University of Southern Maine
Vermont College of Fine Arts

I couldn't really get a sense of the program at Vermont College from their website. So I removed them from my list. The University of British Columbia, however, seemed very interesting. They expressed outright that they did not focus on literary criticism. They also required that each student work in three genres. Hey! I write in three genres! Pretty awesome. However, UBC has only one residency each year. Not so appealing to me. That alone was enough for me to cross them off the list. But in addition, they offered too much flexibility for my taste.

Residencies are recommended, but not required. Students can go full or part time, and can take up to 5 years to complete the program. This may seem negligible, after all - I don't have to make use of these allowances. But I also look forward to becoming a part of a literary community, to studying with, and being exposed to, members of that same community over two years. I know there will be constant transition, new students and graduating students every semester, but there will, for the most part, be a group of students with whom I go in, along with other students with whom I willl gather, write, and grow, and from whom I will learn, over the course of my career at my school. This is important to me.

Warren Wilson
Bennington College
Antioch University in LA
Lesley University
Queens College
University of British Columbia
University of Southern Maine
Vermont College of Fine Arts

The University of Southern Maine requires that students choose one of three areas of emphasis and complete a project related to that emphasis for their third semester. Were I only studying one genre, many of the six choices they offer as areas of emphasis would actually be pretty interesting to me, as would this aspect of their program. One of these areas, "the craft of writing," would be of particular interest to me. However, because I have three genres in which I write, and I want to have the chance to explore all three and to at the same time focus on non-fiction, I am hesitant to dedicate a semester to anything other than the creation and development of my own original work. This is particularly true because I know that the craft of writing is empasized throughout the entirety of any MFA program.

I do want to address a breadth of issues related to being part of the writing community, existing as a writing professional, and living as a writer who is part of the global community. I just don't want that to be the primary focus of an entire semester in my two year program of study. So I crossed USM's program off my list and rewrote my list as follows:

Lesley University
Bennington College

These schools focus on writing, allow for the study of multiple genres, and have solid structure to their programs that I can understand. I am familiar with some members of the faculty at both programs. Although Lesley has a new program, they have talented faculty, some of which have taught for significant time periods at other well established programs. Lesley is known to have a solid and respectable program with a faculty and student body that is diverse. The program director has a clear sense of direction for the program.

Bennington has a well established program and has earned an awesome reputation. I'm excited about the work of the faculty, how far they reach for their visiting faculty, and they're focus on diversifying as well. I also like the country writer's retreat feel I get when I look at pictures of the campus.

So, with Bennington and Lesley I found I could identify... and apply.

Beginnings. Preparing For This HeadRoad Trip.

I grew up writing, yet it never occured to me that I may want to pursue a career in writing. I'm not sure why, but I think it has something to do with all the pressure from everyone around me encouraging me to be a doctor, lawyer, an actuary or an engineer. My first major was actually electrical engineering. I was cursed with abilities in math, actually enjoying algebra and loving calculus. So, I thought, maybe I should pursue one of these money making fields.

I sat in the front row of my major classes and drooled for an hour and twenty minutes. One class is all it took. And I don't mean one class as in, I took a class for a semester and then called it quits. I mean, after that first hour and twenty minutes of embarrasing myself and my teacher, I wiped the side of my face, cleaned off the desk, and I never stepped foot in that engineering building again.

What was I to do? While figuring nothing out, I continued to write and perform poetry. Boy, was that working out! A born performer, I was out there every day reciting "poems" and getting paid to do it! Yes, I was one of those "poets" that wrote my newest "poem" on the way to the gig and proudly said so when I got on stage. This was proof of just how deep I was, that I wrote this hot shit on the way there. Bam! I blew your mind and then I walked off stage to wild applause. The chosen people got to walk with me, patting my back and telling me how I had done it again.

Ridiculousness.

One thing I learned from that era of my life is to gauge your audience. Those people would have had me foolishly publishing that crap I was spewing and reading those poems all over the city, country, earth to people who knew nothing about poetry except that sometimes it rhymed and sometimes it didn't.

Okay, so,

a friend of mine, a guy named Langston, who had written and self published the book Back to Africa with a White Woman with another friend named Wadud, on whom I had a crush, (shh, nobody knows!) invited me to become part of a writing community. His idea was that we would workshop one original piece every week. I was down. Other initial members included Nehassaiu, who's performances impressed me and who was becoming my big sister, and Samuel. There were others who eventually dropped off. These others were similar to me - sure they were already amazing. They felt they didn't need to waste their time with such silliness as workshopping and crafting their pieces. I, on the other hand, liked having my own little private audience of poets to whom I could read my awesome work. Can somebody say ego?

BUT! Something happened while I was there. Maybe it happened because I did, at least, take the process seriously. I gave feedback on the work of my cohorts and I seriously considered their feedback. And it seemed they always had some. My perfect pieces never seemed quite perfect after we'd discussed them. And other pieces, that I had not authored, were getting a lot more appreciation. Can somebody say busted - I mean, awakening?

What was that shit I was writing?

We began to study authors. Our group expanded. We began to share members with the Dark Room Collective, people began to get fellowships and began to enter MFA programs. People with MFA's began to join our group. And I expanded. I began to write poetry.

The writer's collective we formed became known as 12th house. Well, known to us. You probably never heard of it. We met weekly for years. It was because of that association and my studies with the awesome Sonia Sanchez, that I began to understand the career of writing.

My time in 12th House was a blessing, because it freed me from the world of spoken word - the planet of singing syllables - and landed me in the land of literature. It introduced me to the process of crafting and showed me that what I'd thought were classic works of art were plain foolery. Our initial focus was poetry - simply because that was what the members wrote. Eventually through new members, we had a group of prose writers. I myself didn't introduce my prose until late, just before 12th House began to transition, its members moving on. I therefore didn't have the benefit of learning where the strengths in my prose writing lay. I found myself stuck in the abyss of,

"How do I know it's good enough?"

I completed projects that were going nowhere, because I was afraid they weren't strong, literary pieces. I didn't want to publish contemporary literature.

No judgement there, okay? Well, maybe a little judgement but not like the, "You suck! You write contemporary literature" kind of judgement. It's more the, "I am seeking a different audience," discerning kind of judgement. The judgement that asks, "Would I like this shit if I hadn't written it?"

I began to yearn for the benefits of an MFA. I wanted to grow, learn, study craft, receive feedback, recognize my strenghts and labor through my weaknesses. I decided to apply to MFA programs, but where?

I couldn't just move to some awesome MFA program in New England or New York. I had become an unwed mother. Best thing to ever happen to me, (the mother part, not so much the unwed part), but it did place some limits on me. There were no programs that interested me here in Philadelphia. I was going to have to give up. But wait! Ellis started teaching at something called a low-res MFA program. I didn't have to live there, it was well respected, intense learning still took place... What is this place called Warren Wilson!

I did my research, and completed the application to Warren Wilson. I sent my poems to Ellis and got great feedback! Then I decided nothing was good enough. I didn't apply.

I found I was afraid to apply.

"How do I know my works are good enough?"

I worked on applying for years (primarily I worked on myself). I continued to speak to my friends and associates, who encouraged me to apply. The assurance of those teaching in MFA programs themselves should have been enough, you would think. But no. I still waited years, working on my pieces. I had gone from egomaniac to... what? I was confident that I could write something valuable, but not confident that I had written it, and couldn't figure out how to know.

I completed a collection of short stories, a collection of poems and short stories, and a memoir that I could not allow myself to release.

"How do I know it's good enough?"

Things were getting ridiculous. I set my sights, once again, on the MFA. Armed against my uncertanties, I decided to apply. But those years of searching, writing, and reading introduced me to a new genre: Creative Non-Fiction. This is what was meant for me.

I learned that Warren Wilson doesn't offer that concentration.

Shyt!

Note(s)

I thought I should mention that I am also a singer. You may never have heard of me, but I do have proof. Unlike millions of other people in the world, I have a music myspace page. Check me out here. Okay, that's not a link, but I don't know how to do that yet. Therefore, let me spell it out:

www.myspace.com/yahnendgo

(I will that to be a hotlink.)

Love at First Write

It defies the thirty years that have passed, how clearly I recall the ruler drawn faultlessly in a small, tan composition book. The words beneath it, so precise and right, were written in fabulous first grade hand underneath. Love burst forth for what I had accomplished - not copying words of another, but crafting my own description of this measure I had made which seemed beyond improvement. It was simple and felt perfect and I had my first glance at who I was: a girl of words.

It was the book, Listen Children, an anthology of Black Literature edited by Dorothy S. Strickland , that affected me more than any other during my childhood. A gift from a neighbor, Listen Children contained poems, stories, biographies, and speeches, and I memorized most of it. This book was my initial introduction to poetry. I performed "Way Down In the Music," by Eloise Greenfield, at my first talent show.

In fifth grade I entered my original work, "Black Boy," into a poetry contest. I'd written it in fourth grade, but Masterman started in fifth, and that was the first poetry contest to which I had been given access. At this nationally recognized school, uncontested as the very best in the city, I competed equally against all other grades through twelfth, and won first place. The questions regarding the poem's true authorship were meaningless to me. This victory was defining.

And so, here I am.

What I'm doing here.

At the point of starting this blog, I have just communicated with the programs that offered me admittance, sharing my decision regarding acceptance. I am now working to manifest money and grad-school-supporting life changes.

I know that there are people working toward an MFA - whether applying, deciding on acceptances, beginning, continuing or finishing - who like me, seek the benefit of having a glimpse into another's travels and process. Personally, I have searched to the ends of the world (wide web) for kindred lunatics who are also going on this fantastic voyage. I know that others are similarly searching, and that no amount of data is too much, so I’m adding my story and my insights to the pot.

I want to start by saying that everything that I have encountered thus far on this road, and all that is happening at this exact moment, has been - and is - insane. It is synchronously so very exciting. I choose to tell you all about it so you can know either, that your situation isn't as overwhelming as you thought, or that you aren't alone in having entered a bizarre yet amazing universe.

I have to admit that the world in which I live has been unearthly for most of my life. But things are a little more loony now, I think. It’s ungodly what I must overcome as I take each step forward, and what I must do to render the changes necessary for this venture to be possible, and all while I keep up with my current life! Some who know me may argue that this is no more craziness than all the other madness I attract to my life. They may be right, I don’t know. At the least, this version of madness is unfamiliar to me. And exhausting. And exhilarating. I intend to share all the details.

Why, you ask, am I calling into question the rationale of this choice? You'll understand as you learn my story. Suffice it to, at this point say, it is not because I would rather be doing anything else in the world.