Friday, April 10, 2009

Loves me... Loves Me Not... Loves Me?

So, since NYU said they'd release my transcripts internally, I decided to petition the school to release the transcripts to Bennington. See, they said they'd release them internally with the understanding that I'd take out loan money to pay off my debt to them while I was there. This would be possible if I got funding at NYU, and they have some awesome funding opportunities.

Of course, I was initially excited about NYU's decision. I finally got a yes from them about anything related to this debt and my transcripts. But as I began to prepare for applying to NYU, I couldn't help but realize the several problems that come with this arrangement:
  1. What if NYU doesn't accept me? Then that means no MFA program at all. It also means I don't pay back NYU.
  2. I have to take the GRE's. Who has time or money for that? Not this single stay at home mom.
  3. NYU does not have a Non-Fiction discipline. Although I also write fiction and poetry, I want to study Non-Fiction. I do write in a style that is similar to fiction, and honestly would love to study fiction, strengthen myself in that area. However, I really don't know if my fiction is strong enough to warrant the acceptance that would give me the opportunity to pursue that growth at the MFA level. Having already been accepted into programs for both poetry and fiction, I have more confidence in my writing in those areas. But I'd want to apply in fiction rather than poetry. I at least have experience (years through 12th house) workshopping my poetry, and I really want to work on my prose writing.
So, I asked NYU to consider sending my transcripts to Bennington. And I'm sure anyone can understand that after all the work of applying to Bennington, after the relationships I built, the work I did to prepare to begin there, the reading of faculty lit, and the difficult process of chosing that program, feeling it best suited for me out of all the programs I did and could have applied to, I still, uh, want to go to Bennington.

NYU said no sending of my transcipts to Bennington.

So I sent them an email detailing all of the above - well, accept that I really plain old want to go to Bennington. I see no need to insult their program in the slightest, particularly since it is awesome, fabulous, one of the very best and I truly would be excited and honored to go there - 'cept I really want to go to Bennington.

I also pointed out the actual fact that if I start Bennington in June, somehow re-securing the spot that I lost, I'd be done, or at least 75% done paying them back by the time I'd be
starting NYU. And of course, that's if I get in.

One downside to going to Bennington - I'd be graduating with a new student loan debt of about $50,000 - much of which would be unsubsidized, as opposed to $10,000 in subsidized loan dept if I went to NYU. But I really don't give a fuck. I want to get started, strengthen my writing, publish, begin my life as a writing professional. I can market my work once I'm confident in it and believe it possesses a strength that deserves my marketing prowess.

So, let's see if NYU loves me even just a little bit... or at least sees the value in my reasoning.