Saturday, February 21, 2009

Life Goes On.

So, I received a letter in the mail. The envelope said it was a public relations company. I almost threw it away unopened, but I checked it out. It was a letter regarding the Linda Lael Miller Scholarships for Women. It indicated that they received my application after the October 1st deadline, and that my application would not be considered.

I called and asked when they got the letter. October 3rd, they said. That surprised me. I felt sure were it not there on the first, it would definitely have been there on the second - which would still have been too late. I suggested they consider postmark dates in the future.

I got off the phone and immediately got a headache. I have been working in such a one track way toward my future, the future toward which this MFA is an important step, that I have put my present situation in jeopardy. When I should be hustling in cash, I'm applying for funding, and so this needs to work.  I really need to be considered for every scholarship, but repeatedly, for varied reasons, amazing opportunities are not opening to me.

For instance, my essay was not chosen for the Atlas Shrugged Essay Contest.  I was informed by email.  I was not as disappointed by that.  I really hadn't had time to work on that essay.  It was done in a couple of hours, with no time for true editing.  I was not able to flush out any significant ideas.  That was about not giving up, giving myself a chance.  The Linda Leel Scholarship was different. I mailed it too close to the deadline, having been under the impression that the scholarship was a postmark deadline, and not a "received by" deadline.  I had not done my due diligence.  I feel that I would have had a chance of receiving support from them if I had done better.

I had to keep it moving.  I still had the R.O.S.E. Fund and the A Room Of Her Own Foundation's Award of Freedom.  The latter would not notify in time to make a difference for January, but the R.O.S.E. Fund announces in December, funds in January.  That was the only award on which I was really counting  for January.  All others were awards I was working on for the remainder of my academic career.  I had a headache.

Keep it moving.

Ishara and I went home and while she cleaned her room, I sliced four potatoes and four habenero peppers, cut string beans and diced fresh rosemary. I layered a baking pan with aluminum foil, spread in the ingredients, seasoning generously with Adobo and sprinkled in this grille sauce I picked up at whole foods. I then cut in half each of the two large pieces turkey london broil that I'd marinated in the same grille sauce, placing them above the mixture. I covered it with aluminum foil and baked it for half an hour on 400 degrees. 

I had never made this dish before, I was making it up. I hoped it would taste good, and it did. It was a little too peppery though. I often slice habeneros into my meals, but this was more saucey then some others, and the pepper really got into the food. We enjoyed it - Ishara asked if we could refrain from speaking because the food was so good to her. We did drink two cups of juice though. Next time I'll just cut the peppers in half.

I felt better after I'd cooked, eaten and cleaned up the kitchen. My headache had become negligible. Life goes on.

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